Wow. They started the show on May 28 with this parody of "G-d Bless America", which was supposed to be a voice mail, but I recorded it as an e-mail because the Johnny B voice mail box was full on 5/26/08. I am not a religious person, but for some reason, I thought I should use the respectful version G-d to refer to the Lord Almighty in cyberspace.
Thou shalt not worship false idols? Hector is not false- he's the real deal. And I happen to know he's a good man. I just know.
Original email with aired versions
I Felt The Earth Move ©2008 by Howard Segal and Adam Simon. Recorded April 18-20 2008.
to the tune of "I Feel The Earth Move" ©1971 Carole King
Aired 4/21/2008 on WLUP 97.9 FM Chicago, Jonathan Brandmeier show.
Kent Voss liked it. But then someone pushed a button saying it was "the biggest puss song I've ever heard".
You know what? Johnny B is the biggest puss morning radio personality I've ever heard. Shank him Hector.
Thanks Johnny!
Klinger in the Morning ©2008 Howard Segal (remix of Johnny in the Morning to the tune of My Sharona by The Knack)
I never knew until about a year ago that Jonathan Brandmeier, a fine Catholic boy raised in Wisconsin, is of Lebanese heritage as is actor Jamie Farr, Corporal Klinger from M*A*S*H*
I recorded this on a weeknight sometime in April, a few days after Johnny called himself "Klinger in the Morning". I sent it in abruptly without much thought. I found out on 5/11/08 that this song was aired 5/9/08. And what an honor- it was aired during a segment about Johnny's mother pre- mother's day.
See if you can hear the cameo, unplanned contribution from my wife. Hint 1- it's near the end during the echo.. Hint 2- "How..?" She's asking me, in a nice way, to shut up!
©2008 H Segal submitted 2/23/08, aired 4/7/08 on WLUP 97.9 FM
To the tune of Beginning to See the Light ©1944 by Don George, Johnny Hodges, Duke Ellington and Harry James.
Lovin' You Kent Voss ©2008 H Segal
to the tune of "Lovin' You" ©1972, 1975 Minnie Riperton, Richard Rudolph
Recorded 3/17/08 on Logic Pro 8
For some reason I've always liked this song which is fine. But to create this version, I must indeed be a wacky individual don't you think? Meanwhile I am one of several individuals who are creatively inspired by Kent Voss. My song aired 3/18/2008 along with parts of the song "Sexual Weirdness" by Pete (member of the listener hall of fame) who also wrote the well-known "Let the Man Do News" aired daily on the Brandmeier show. It was Pete's lyrics "move aside, let the man do news" which obviously inspired my lyrics "step aside rooster- you're blocking my view, permit the man to do news, pale white man do the news". We're all crazy in Chicago! Just havin' fun indeed.
No harm intended.
You are So Beautiful Hillary ©2008 H Segal to the tune of You are So Beautiful ©1973 Billy Preston and Bruce Fisher
Kent Voss King of The News ©2007 H Segal
to the tune of "King Herod's Song" from JC Superstar by Andrew Lloyd Weber and Tim Rice ©1970
I really have to quit smoking. I have no problem stopping, but after a few days I get excited about the Cubs and sneak out of the house to buy another pack. I have tried Chantix, Wellbutrin, Acupuncture, and nicotine patch/gum as well as toothpicks, cinnamon sticks, sugar free gum and candy, carrots, and herbal remedies. What I really need is for a person to follow me around with a gun. When I am about to smoke, the gun is put to my head. Then I have a choice to make- die now by gun shot wound or stop this filthy, self-injurious habit.
I should quit tomorrow. But I will quit Friday. Repeat, I will quit on Monday. And then I will redo this song which I recorded 4 months ago before another major quit attempt. I can do this. I will do this.
Killing Me Slowly ©2008 H Segal to the tune of Killing Me Softly ©1972 C Fox, N Gimbel
Made popular by Roberta Flack
Note to self- Look at this picture and listen to this song. Do you really want to smoke? You look like a freak. You want to live, don't you? Keep it up idiot and you will lose limbs. Just because the Cubs win, don't sabotage your life. Think about white teeth, clean breath and being able to run through the city without an escort from paramedics with defibrillator paddles in hand. Think of how much less crappy your voice will be. Even if the Cubs win the worl...I mean, even if the Cubs have a great year, that is no reason to inhale burning toxins. Please do not inhale burning toxins. You can do it me. Omg- I'm talking to myself again!
